Joseph Kreydt

Tag: anxiety

  • Loneliness and Presence

    This loneliness, in a world awake, is unnecessary affliction. I run circles around this fearfully imagined lonely future — “it will end like this,” “that is a sign about that,” “she will abandon me,” “he will betray me,” “I will starve.”

    And I wonder why I’m lonely.

    It’s because all that’s real, all that exists, all that is in communion, exists in the present, and all the while I’m seeking it in the past or the future.

    Grace, ever remind me to take three slow breaths, sense and notice the world in the moment, feel the gentle scratch of pencil on paper, and reach out to a friend.

  • Expect Miracles

    An intuition: I worried terribly about the forthcoming affliction of a beloved. I worried and worried as I walked. When the thought, “have faith that God will work miracles,” realized in my mind, a small, yellow butterfly crossed in front of me and fluttered by to my left. I, then, looked to my right and saw another. At no other point on my hour-long walk did I see another butterfly.

    We must always trust that, in God’s time, our longings will be met, our worries released. Miracles happen.

    No matter how certain our worries feel, even when reason confirms their truth, we must have faith. Miracles happen.

  • Riptides, Fears

    tears, tears,
    riptides, fears
    swim parallel
    not toward

    I'd rather swim toward and die
    than lie or try to hide
    the longing in my heart

    intimacy withheld
    is there a deeper hell?

    it doesn't matter that it's a struggle
    my heart is restless 'til it's held

    you, your
    riptides, fears
    hold me away
    unheld